You’re a young man from the provinces and you’ve just arrived in Paris to make your fortune. You have big dreams, but no skills to speak of.

Your boyish charm and feminine hips have attracted the attention of a wealthy woman and/or a sinister homosexual criminal who will someday become the chief of police.

Your face is so complicated that it takes three pages to describe.

There’s a woman you’d like to sleep with, so you decide to tell her an off-putting story about murder, castration, or bestiality.

Blackberries Dishcloth

Materials: 
Size 6 circular needles or whatever size you prefer for working with dishcloth cotton.
Cotton worsted weight yarn

Directions:
Cast On 32 stitches
Rows 1-4: K
Row 5: [RS] K4, *[K1, YO, K1] into next st, P3, rep from * to last 4 sts, K4.
Row 6: K4, *P3tog, K3, rep from * to last 4 sts, K4.
Row 7: K4, *P3, [K1, YO, K1] into next st, rep from * to last 4 sts, K4.
Row 8: K4, *K3, P3tog, rep from * to last 4 sts, K4.
Rep rows 5-8 nine more times, or until desired size.
K 4 more rows for border.
Bind off.

Stop powdery mildew

http://gardening.about.com/od/gardenproblems/qt/PowderyMildew.htm

Baking soda makes an inexpensive control for powdery mildew on plants. The baking soda fungicide is mostly effective as a preventative, offering only minimal benefits after your plants have after your plants have become infected. Weekly spraying of susceptible plants during humid or damp weather can greatly reduce the incidence of powdery mildew in your garden.

To control powdery mildew on plants, mix together:

  • 1 tablespoon of baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon of liquid soap
  • 1 gallon of water

Do not store unused mixture. While this recipe has been known to be effective, it can burn the leaves of some plants. It is recommended that you water your infected plants well a couple of days before applying this mixture, and don’t apply it in full sun. Try on a small area first, to test the plant’s response before spraying the entire plant.

Some recipes also recommend applying 1 tablespoon of ultralight horticultural oil to the mixture. The oil coats and smothers the fungi. The soap is added to help the mix spread and cling to the leaf surface. Be sure to apply to lower leaf surfaces as well.